5 Realistic Ways to Increase Testosterone
I am sick and tired of reading articles with titles just like this one. They always say to do squats and deadlifts. If you’re not squatting and deadlifting your testosterone count is the last thing you need to be worried about.
Or tell you to eat some rare berry or herb that only grows in some small village in the mountains of NeverHeardOfVille where the locals work all day despite barley eating anything. Those Natives probably also shit in a hole, eat people and perform clitoral circumcision rituals. Maybe one of those is the key. Try it or do all of them, I am sure www.HardcoreMusclXtremeInferiorityComplex.com will sell you the Native Stack. Maybe their only other option, DEATH is why they can work so hard.
There will be a small link to some obscure study at the end of the article. You know why people do studies like this? To get grant money and to have boring stories to tell stuck up women at art galleries. Yeah that screams testosterone, ever shaking the hand of a researcher? It feels like someone slapped your hand with a heron. If someone shakes your hand and their handshake makes you queasy they know nothing about Testosterone.
How to Really Increase Testosterone. No studies, and no bullshit just common sense.
1. 1. Stop Doing G.P.P
General Physical Preparedness. Do you know how stupid that sounds? Who thought of a fancy word for work? You seriously have no projects that need to be done around the house? You’re going to beat on a tire with a sledgehammer for 60 second intervals when you could chop wood? I’m so sorry if this doesn’t let you perfectly do Tabata intervals. Dr Tabata was from Japan, and that place is a different world. Their rules don’t apply here. I always thought this and they just found bones proving it. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/23/3100174.htm?section=justin
If you don’t have any wood to chop go help your neighbor or your grandma. Maybe people will like you and bring you cookies. Oh those increase Testosterone too. Get a wheelbarrow and move some damn rocks or dig some dirt and don’t wear gloves; you don’t wear gloves in the gym right? Wait do you wear gloves in the gym? If so stop reading and reevaluate your life. It is necessary.
22. Pee Outside
This is important, don’t laugh! It feels right. Seriously peeing in a ceramic bowl seems more normal to you? Compared to dirt? Peeing off a deck at night in the cold makes you feel alive. You get a cool breeze on your balls and steam off your stream. This is the essence of being a man and thus increases Testosterone.
33. No Treadmills
You know who runs in place? People stuck in a box, Hamsters and Felons. That eats at your soul. Go out in Nature and run some trails or some damn hill sprints. Run where you have a chance of a Mountain Lion attack and if it attacks you kill it drag it home skin it and run the trails with its pelt on in the rain. Testosterone boost x1000!
44. Eat with your hands
Why do you get that feeling eating all you can eat Buffalo Wings? No not the feeling a few hours later. The feeling just eating it with your hands you feel like a damn animal. Like you just stalked and killed the uhhhhh Buffalo. Eat a whole damn chicken with just your hands after a heavy Squat day and you will instantly be recovered. What you need a knife for your steak? Sounds like your grip sucks!
55. The Only Thing Proven Way……
Is a vial and a needle. So reading crap like this for any more then comedic reasons is pointless.
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